Pondering

I recieved this email early in the week from a friend of mine and thought it was very thought provoking.
Something to think about.
Here is the email-

I met this guy in the store yesterday. He approached me and said he could see something different in me. We talked very briefly, and at the end of our talk, he asked if he could call me or write to me through e-mail. I was hesitant, especially when he told me he's not a Christian and doesn't really have an interest in hearing about God. That would normally be a flag to just walk away. However, although a part of me grieved for a moment, I felt a strange desire in him, as if he was truly searching for what I have (meaning Christ). I gave him my info and he wrote to me. It appears he's into a strange occult belief system and has some questions about how anyone can be so into God. Although it is the ideal "custom" for guys to witness to guys, he said he can't stand taking to "Jesus freaks" and the only reason he’s open to listening to what I have to say because he sees something really genuine in me that’s peaked his curiosity. My boldness to witness has... dwindled a bit and I've been praying for God to bring me hurting souls. How often I've wondered if the lady in front of me at the grocery store or a man at a bus stop was someone I was to talk to. I guess I could say my confidence has dwindled, too. Maybe someone else could witness to this guy I recently met. I just wonder sometimes about our timing on this earth. I mean, let's say this guy died tomorrow. He wouldn't have had a chance for anyone else to talk with him about our Lord. That may be extreme, but it is possible. Do we always wait until the light just shines a pretty green when talking to someone? Don't get me wrong, I am not disputing the fact that there are flags we need to notice and even times when we need to back away. Still, what if this guy has been placed in my path to witness to? Not saying we have to go out and share some coffee or come close to a dating type relationship. Just that we write and communicate to each other our views and perhaps share how we came to them. I remember many years ago when I used to street witness, how amazingly against God some of the people were. I talked to everyone, I mean everyone who would give me a moment of their time. Pimps, prostitutes, drug dealers, gang members... you name it. I was bold and I was on a mission. Male/female was not a concern. My goal and desire was winning the hearts of our nation for Christ. I look at my life now and can't believe how... shallow is not quite the right word, but... in a sense how shallow I've become. How trapped I am in my own little world of who, where, why, when and how Christians should be, and likewise who, where, why, when and how we should treat unbelievers. Sure we reach out sometimes, we may do some missions, we often talk a lot of talk. But when it comes right down to it, is our heart yearning, I mean REALLY yearning for those in our paths to know and be a part of Christ? To ponder that, I often think how I am a child of the King, an heir to the throne of my Heavenly Father whom I pray and believe is pleased with me, as far as a devoted child of a kingdom living in another world can be. Where comes the discernment and humility? How do we find that fine line of who and how we are in ourselves and who and how we are in Christ? If we see a hurting person, male of female, do we analyze it to death, convincing ourselves that we may not the right one to be witnessing to them? I process this merely for my own sanity. There is a part of me that has been missing something for quite some time. Perhaps it is the boldness I once had for reaching out to anyone, to everyone I possibly could, no matter what situation they were in. If there was an ounce of hope, 10 years ago, I would have taken it and used it and done everything in my power to help someone gain an insight or, greater yet, relationship with Christ. Although we live in this world, we are not of it. Our home is in a land far away. Our father and our "life" is foreign to this world, yet I know with all I am that there are so many who are desperately searching and wanting to be there, to live there, to have what I have. How strong am I in fulfilling that quest to give everyone the same opportunity, the same glorious gift I have been given? Even with all the trials and pain, even in times of doubt, I know still, deep inside, that I am loved. That I have a home and my Father waits eagerly for me to come and be with Him and live there for all eternity. Do I live here so complacent that I do not wish or even know anymore how to impart that to others, to truly reach the hurting souls for Him? Am I so caught up in my "should world" that I remove myself from this one, not even making a real attempt to make it better, not being bold enough to take a chance and help those "questioanble ones" who so desperately need my help? Sadly, there are many times it seems true. There should be a burning inside of me so strong that it cannot be quenched. A friend, a neighbor, a man on the street should all have my attention and prayers. At least as often, those who are against me or my Lord should not only have my attention and prayers, they should also be given my love. To glorify our Lord is to reach the lost, repeatedly giving them a chance to know and comprehend His Love. So often I think we minimize what that is. We live in such a selfish world. No-one seems to have, or actually find the time to care anymore. How selfish I can be at times. How often I expect others to minister to me when I should be out ministering to others. When my heart is breaking or when trials try to steal my joy, do I think of all the others in this world who, likewise experience that pain? Do my prayers lift up a combined feeling of anguish or do they merely focus on me? It is such a "ME" world. How I wish we could somehow change that. The change comes when we see the "WE", when we open our spiritual eyes and focus on all we DO have and all the blessings God has given to us, most of which we do not begin to deserve. It is only by His grace and mercy that we even have another breath to breathe. To see His face, to hear His voice... what does that mean? It is simply to hold out our hand, to offer a smile or just impart a sweet or kind word. When we come together for the sake of the cross... that is the true fellowship, that is the church our Father wants to see. That is the WE need to be. Care for the hurting, communing with the saints, stopping for just a moment, taking a deep breath, looking into the hearts of those around us, giving thanks for them, and giving thanks that we even have a today to live in, that we can make a change in someone's life and in our own lives if we just step out and do so. To be the vessel God can use to transform a life for Him. To ponder the possibilities. Oh, so many possibilities. Oh, Father, grant us wisdom that we would know your ultimate will and walk in the grace and forgiveness you continually, so graciously bestow upon us.